Kekism
The Kekistan Chronicles ''' '''Main Page for all stump posts regarding the history of the Great Keki Nation ''*Contribute and play with the narrative. Make it your own, make it comedically fit in with others narrative.'' '''''' Book 1 Kekish People Book 2 the History of Kekistan Chapter one: The Basic History of Kek ''' ''' Ancient History Kekistan began in the year 0 A.K. (Anno Kek) In fact, the Roman Empire was a puppet of Kekistan. But the Mainstream Roman News obfuscated knowledge of the existance of Kekistan away from everyday Normies and edgelords. Because The Roman Empire’s puppet government was run by BetaCucks, we fired the guy who put them there, they declared a rebellion. And the warlords of Faggotstan were north of us invaded and pillaged the hell out of the place. They took valuable memes and plundered our LOL cows. You think caveman invented fire? Nope. Kek did that shit. But then he outlawed it in a Kekistan (Except for warmth) because it drove away darkness and Kek is the god of darkness and chaos. And after we lost our country and The Roman Empire we thought we we’re screwed. But we survived with the many meme crops we were able to plant with the collapse of the Roman Empire immediately after they lost support from Kek. We made many virtues memes based off of Kek collapsing the Roman Empire. Skip ahead to the colonial era. (Circa.1750) People were- (Skip to immediately after the French-Indian War) Kekistan at this point controlled the entire Arabian peninsula, a small part of Northern Africa, Turkey, and part of Asia. Picture of Fig. 1 Kekistans Borders at the time ''' ''' Fig. 2 current borders ''' ''' 2nd, above)We didn't know what to do about Cuckistan and NewFagLand so we held a meeting in Kekstantinople in the the territory of Turkek. “Nuke the hell out of them” says Gandkek, “What's a nuke?” Kekberto asks. “Oh yeah that… That was a joke.” “ATTENTION EVERYONE” The King of Kekistan Declares. “The NewFagLanders are putting military garrisons along our border with them. How will we respond?” “Stone there citizens that migrated here!” Someone suggests. “No no. That will only force them to declare war, we need to declare war first so REV UP THOSE FACTORIES!” Says Ghandkek, who, is still speaking ahead of time. “What the hell is a factory?” Head of the Kekistani Parliament Inquires. “No comment,” Ghandkek responds. “Listen up, listen up. We're obviously getting no where with this,” Proclaims King Beorge Gush The III. “We'll take a vote. Write your answer down on a piece of paper. If you want us to Invade NewFagLand, write one. For sanctions, write two.” The votes were cast. The invaders won. “Attention NewFags! We declare a holy war on your Heritikek faggotry!” The King tried to cover it up as a holy war, but the Kekistanis knew he just wanted oil. The main force began to invade, when, in 1765, Egypt, and some other countries declared independence because of the Islamic Ban of 1738. We had been pushed back to a small piece of land under Russia. In 1862, we had the “9gag civil war,” up to this point, 9gag was legal in Kekistan, and, actually encouraged. But King TJ Kek knew that 9gag was Normie propaganda. As a direct descendant from Prophet Pepe, TJ had memes in his blood. He outlawed 9gag. The NormalFags didn't take kindly to this, though, and they declared a war. It was a long, brutal war and many Kekistanis died in it, but the 9gag-fags got there ass handed to them and they retreated to the uninhabited land now known as “Normiestan.” 1912, WWI in Kekistan. The Russians occupy Kekistan at this point. Kekistan was the first central power to fall, they joined because they wanted Russian Women to date them, and they thought the only way that would happen was through occupation. Peaceful protests go on in the street, until, the mysterious grandfather of the well known Kekistani Politican Gholosh stages a coup. A Demokeks coup in Russia, known as the October Revolution. The Demokeks actually live peacefully there for years until The Soviet Union collapses. The Soviets release Kekistan and all is well, until, 1939. Common Pepe President of the Kekservatives party wins Kekistans election. She declares a dictatorship and reforms Kekistan to an SJW safe zone. Unless you're a white male. She began sending out Antifa death squads that would round up and publicly execute them. The white males attempted to where black face paint to disguise themselves, but there Cuck senses were to well rounded. They entered an alliance with The Soviet Union and suppressed White males in Kekistan. Common Pepe President escapes to VietKek and starts another civil war there. It is there she has a child, she named the child “Rare.” Rare would remain in VietKek until the year 1970 when she moves to Kekistan and begins her political career. 1991, Kekistan has lost support from their big Communist daddy the Soviet Union. Kekistan emerged as a truly free nation after the collapse, but the Demokeks were pissed. But they had no one to turn to. And then he came. Gholosh, a DemoKek sympathizer. They preached there communist ideals through the 1990’s but no one listened. So he pretended to not be a communist and almost won the Kekistani election of February 2017. Chapter Two: The Religion of Kekism Chapter x : We Wuz Kangz ''' ''' Chapter x: October 1, 2003 It was a cold autumn night, when a young man named Christopher Poole after months of using a image board known as 2chan and decided to create his own. Though he did not know this yet, Kek was guiding him as he created the site that would become 4chan.org. The first few boards were: /b/, /h/, /d/, /y/, and /guro/. ''' ''' 4-chan is a group for young individuals to socialize and help society as a whole. They have often sought to rid the world of cancerous things such as furries or contain cancer in MLP boards. ''' ''' When some of it’s more diverse members heard that AIDS was spreading in public pools they made a group effort to help make sure everyone knew the pool was closed. The organized and wore matching outfits so they could speak to those around them as an authority on the subject. Many people misunderstood that the pool closings as being racist but since those protecting the pools were black they could not be racist. ''' ''' 4-chan’s affinity to kek grew as they sought to obtain every copy of Battletoads as a tribute to their new god. But bigoted Gamestop employees continued to oppress their religion. ''' ''' Chapter x: The Gamergate Exile, a new home in a 4-eign land Chapter x: The God Kek is reawakened Chapter x: The Humble Water Filter Merchant and his Wears Chapter x: You Can’t Stump the Trump ''' ''' “From deep of the bowels of the earth came he the man of orange skin of clay and flaming yellow hair, and though many sought to fell him, he remains forever unstumpled” - Kekstradomus prophesying about the rise of Donald Trump. ''' ''' Setting the stage ''' ''' It was early in the 2015 primary cycle that Donald Trump emerged as the frontrunner and favorite of the ethnic Kekistani Americans in the Republican primary. Though seven-teen other opponents took him on head to head he had something that the others did not as a teenager he had trained with Kek Sha Gul and become a god-tier troll lurking the internet by night shutting down fat pigs, dogs, slobs, disgusting animals. Later it would be said of him he was not the hero the internet needed right now but rather the one it deserved. ''' ''' Later after the first debate Megen Kelley attempted to rape him by wearing a priest disguise but accidentally assaulted Milo Yiannopoulos instead. She was so angry at her failed attempt that blood began coming out of her eyes. This is when Donald Trump’s spirit animal, a giant centipede materialized and paralyzed Marco Rubio with fear, it’s deadly venom is known to cause adverse reactions including uncontrollable thirst. These centipedes shot out of his hands so quickly that John Kasich believed that they WERE his hands and that is why he kept repeating “We can’t let Trump get his hands on the nuclear codes” he was afraid of the centipedes. Next, Trump was slated to face his most dangerous enemy yet, zombie-corpse sock puppet for corporate shills Hillary Clinton. She was being kept alive on a cocktail of drugs and voodoo magic, and mind controlled by Nazi collaborator George Soros. Hillary Clinton actually dies halfway through the presidential race and was replaced by a body double. Bill Clinton had also died earlier and was replaced by impersonator Bimbo Dickins pictured here (fig. 2). Fig. 2 Bimbo Dickins ''' ''' A New Enemy Emerges Trump at this point was certainly a rising star in the political world. Having never read a single book until six months before the first debate, Trump taught himself to read by reviewing Barack Obama’s fake birth certificate over and over again. Note: Speaking of which Barack Obama never learned to read during his eight years in office. If if if if if if if you can believe it. When asked how he prepared for his debates he stated, “Prepare? Who needs to prepare for this shit?” ''' ''' Trump obviously following prison rules to politics decided to find the candidate that was acting like the leader and attack him on the first day. This candidate was Jeb Bush, who was also know in some circles as King Cuck, or Guac Man. While battling Jeb Bush on stage Trump by day, was forced to battle Guac Man and his gang of cucks on the crime ridden streets of Washington DC at night. ''' ''' Chapter x: Harambe - A Fallen Hero A Kekistani Martyr Harambe was a deep cover KIA agent and secret confidant of candidate Trump he was tasked to perform oppo-research on Hillary Clinton and then leak it to national treasure Julian Assange. Fig. 3 Harambe seen passing information that will lead to the indictment of Hillary Clinton to his sleeper contact ''' ''' It turned out the death of Harambe, caused suffering en masse of millennial, multiple suicides and became a flashpoint for the general public turning on the Democrats in the upcoming elections. ''' ''' Especially hard hit was the Trans-community, after the news of Harabe spread, the suicide rate of transgendered individuals was measured at 40%. Obviously, Obama hates gorillas and Trans people. Democrats attempted to spin this increased suicide on the “Dicks out For Harambe” movement, since trans women felt oppressed due to the fact that they had cut off their own dicks in a brash decision. There are statistics to support this theory since trap suicide rates are much lower than posts-op transsexuals, but for the purposes of the referenced study, traps are classified as gay. ''' ''' Chapter x: The Great Meme War Stump. Chapter x: Hillary Clinton Calls for Genocide against the Kekistani People Chapter x: Fake News Chapter x: The Kekistani Election Cycle Chapter x: Communist DemoKek Revolt After the collapse of the Soviet Union in the 1990’s, the DemoKeks lost all power they once retained. This angered them. A politician by the name of Gholosh took power in the DemoKeks party, and ever ran in the 2017 February Kekistan election, and came in close second place. Years before the election, though, in 1995, he organized revolt. (Below: Gholosh standing next to Joseph Stalin of the Soviet Union, declaring his support for the Soviet enacted Kekistani Genocide) The revolt was not quick, however, lasting until 1999. This period was known as, “The Gholosh Revolt.” He got a group of revolutionaries together,one of which being Acenead Raine, popular DemoKek politician. “We will seize the Memes of Production in Kekstantinople first. General Keksinhower, I give you command of the invading force of this operation. 8,000 Communist Kekistanis are there to follow your orders and seize the Memes of Production.” The battalion had set out. They won their battle for Kekstantinople, 3,000 Kekistan soldiers were lost, 200 Cucks were “Collateral Damage,” 2,000 DemoKeks and no civilian casualties. (Normies arm themselves for protection as Gholosh’s flag is raised in MosKek, image below:) ''' ''' Chapter x: #FreeKekistan Chapter x: Milo Did Nothing Wrong Chapter x: How Hitler Was Better Than Rare (I call dibs on writing this one - KBC) Before we start, let's get this out of the way. Hitler was a terrible person. Fascism is a failing ideology. Now we're not condoning Hitler, we're just saying Hitler wasn't as bad as Rare would be in office. Hitler didn't gas the Jews on the first day. Rare would Genocide the white males and ethnic Kekistanis on the first day. Rare is SJW Cuck trash. She would massacre purebred Kekistanis because of the “Racist Memes” they produce on occasion, even if they agree with all of her ideas. And at least Hitler made advances in medical technology, rare couldn't care less about advances. She'd most likely drop most or all funding from everything but military to distribute amongst the military and the left wing politicians. Even Hitler had the common courtesy to keep the Genocide a secret, but Rare would send out full on public execution left wing death squads that would fire on memers shitposters and white males on site. The meme farms would be seized and sold off to Kek knows where. (Rare always looked at Hitler as an idol, image below:) (Rare held violent Antifa style protests, image below:) (Rare associates herself with Kek-Denying Atheists such as The Amazing Atheist himself, image below:) ) (Rare Admits to Being The SJW That Punched Richard Spencer:) Rare is also a puppet of George Soros, just like Hillary. She is attempting to push her Social Justice Warrior Cuck Glaobalist agenda on Kekistan. Do not fall for her lies. (Kekistanis protesting Rare, image below:) Chapter x: Kekism, a religion of peace Chapter x: How Heretikeks Are Ruining Kekistan Chapter x: How Kebab Replaced Kekism With The False Abrahamic Religions Chapter x: Prophet Sargon of Akkad Chapter x: An Epidemic of Fake News Chapter x: Political Parties Chapter x: How Jesus Was a Prophet of Kek Chapter x: Why Kebab Needs Removal Chapter x: Explaining Meme Magic #PizzaGate #Dyncorp #thelema Chapter x: Russia: An Ally of Intimidation (But Then Putin Was Elected) Chapter x: Exposing Corruption in Kekistan: The KIA